Over the past few weeks, I noticed the interactions I had with people in my life were as varied as the situations themselves. From my perspective, I am true to myself and would handle my interactions the same way with any number of people in the same situation. I consider myself to be a kind, caring, generous person who has to navigate in a complex world filled with professional and personal interactions, but not everyone I deal with sees me this way. Where I saw myself as being consistent with who I am, I noticed that others see me according to their own perspective. And, if I am being honest, I can be just as guilty of seeing people through the lens of my own perspective.
As a naturally curious person, I wanted to know why. I started to observe not only my interactions with others, but observed how people automatically have built in biases when they come in contact with others. What I learned from my unscientific study was eye-opening and transformative – we are a combination of indefinite pronouns that change depending on another person’s view of the world.
I am nobody, anybody, somebody, and everybody, depending on who you are. I don’t define myself, yet somehow I am defined by everyone I have ever met. I am your friend, your sister, your mother, your daughter, your coworker, and even your archnemesis.
Who you believe I am is determined by your perceptions, your experiences with others, your baggage, and your hurt. I am shaped by how you see yourself—your shortcomings, your successes, and the lens through which you view life. I am defined by the love you allow yourself to accept, the love you give to others, and the love you have for life.
I am also shaped by your fears: the fear of not living up to your potential, the fear of competition, the fear of insecurity, the fear of not being in control, and the fear that I might somehow see through the walls you build around yourself and glimpse the real you. I am judged by your biases and your need to stereotype the people in your world. You create an image of me through your jealousy and envy.
I am also defined by your curiosity, your need for friendship or mentorship, and your desire to see me as an inspiration or to learn from my mistakes.
So, I am anybody you think or want me to be. I am nobody that matters or is worthy of your presence. I am somebody you can choose to accept as I am. I am everything and nothing at the same time. I am who you want me to be.
How others perceive us is beyond our control. People view us through the lens of their layered interactions with countless other souls they’ve encountered throughout their lives. The good, the bad, and the ugly experiences they’ve had with people who resemble us, work in the same profession, or belong to different socio-economic classes influence whether they see us as someone to love or hate.
Media-fed biases train society to see division in every aspect of life, preventing us from recognizing people as they truly are. We often define individuals not by their true qualities but by how they fit into a narrative we’ve created or wish to believe. We want to be the hero, so we label those around us as friends or foes in our personal stories.
But what if we are wrong? What if we stopped defining people as somebody, nobody, anybody, and allowed everybody to just be who they truly are? By recognizing and challenging the narratives we impose on others, we open the door to understanding and empathy. What if we let go of the need to categorize everyone we meet? What if we chose to see others not as characters in our own stories but as individuals with their own unique journeys? By doing so, we can break free from the constraints of our biases and allow genuine connections to flourish. In a world where everyone is seen for who they truly are, we might find that we, too, can embrace our authentic selves. Let’s strive for a future where we celebrate individuality and build bridges of understanding—one interaction at a time.
Be sure to hit the “Like” button, “Share”, “Pin”, or “Link” this and/or leave a comment in the comments section below. I’d love to get your take on how other’s have inaccurately labeled you and/or advice on how you’ve learned to deal with breaking down identity perceptions.
