Sometimes I just want to bang my head against my desk and scream SERIOUSLY????
And when I mean sometimes, it’s usually the times I’m dealing with a certain, “Miss Easily Offended” who just doesn’t seem to get that the world does not revolve around her. Newsflash: Things I talk about, say, do, or write/blog/post aren’t always about you – or maybe never were about you.
So apparently I did it again and upset “Miss Easily Offended” – a talent, skill and gift I had no I idea I possessed nor even knew I was employing. Maybe it’s a hidden superpower I’ve been given that just so happens to bring out the green-eyed monster or exposes some sort of self-centeredness in a select few individuals.
This time, the offense was simply writing a recent post on Facebook. A Facebook post about a situation I was dealing with, where I asked my wise Facebook friends for their advice on how they would handle a jealous, nasty person trying to rob them of their joy. I actually mentioned I was thankful the person I was referring to did not use Facebook.
A Facebook post that had nothing to do with “Miss Easily Offended” – or so I thought, since she actually has a Facebook account.
Apparently, I was wrong and my post struck a tender nerve with “Miss Easily Offended”. Without fully reading the entire post she had jumped to the conclusion it was about her. Which leads me back to the position I’m in — banging my head repeatedly against my desk. Seriously, I’m going to have to buy stock in Advil.
As I’m writing this, I can’t stop thinking about what Carly Simon must have been feeling when she penned her iconic song “You’re So Vain”. Instead of songs, my thoughts are on posts.
I’m sure I am not the first person who has had the misfortune of being accused of writing a post (or blog article) that had inadvertently offended someone whom wasn’t even the subject or even a flicker of a thought. That’s when the “Miss Easily Offended” of your life puffs out her chest and exclaims, “How dare you”, or “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say”. You’re left scratching your head, thinking “Are you sure you actually read what I wrote?” or, “I’m not exactly sure how you are connecting the dots?”.
It’s enough to make you want to take Carly’s lead and shout, “You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Post Is About You. Don’t you, Don’t you ….”. Well maybe not shout it, but most certainly want to type it – perhaps, in all caps – while humming along to the infectious melody in your head.
Instead of thinking that the song is about you, apparently “Miss Easily Offended” thinks my post was about her. Quite frankly, “Miss Easily Offended” is probably reading this right now and thinking this blog article is about her – don’t you, don’t you.
So as I sit here icing the growing knot on my forehead, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around why my post was offensive to this person in the first place. My post was not malicious. I simply asked a straight forward question about what could have happened to this individual that made them so unhappy that they needed to rob someone else’s joy and coined them “Mr. Nasty” – that’s the kicker — “Mister”.
Whatever the reason, I can’t seem to shake the melody or the reality that some people are just “So vain”, they will always believe the post, tweet or blog is about them.
At some point in our lives, everyone will have to deal with their own version of “Miss Easily Offended”. Whether it is a family member, co-worker, neighbor or even a friend, you’ll recognize “Miss Easily Offended” as the one who, no matter what you say or do, will always interpret your actions as a slight against them.
Just remember, you cannot change how some people interpret a message; you can only control your own reaction. In my case, I have learned no matter what I do, I will always seem to rub “Miss Easily Offended” the wrong way. I’ve learned to ignore and not to feed her ego – a lesson, if learned earlier would have been a bit less painful.
To keep myself balanced and calm, I have turned the frustration of being misunderstood into a bit of a comedy routine. Since I know whatever I say is going to offend, I can now sit back and watch the show. It’s much better to laugh at the situation then to cry in frustration with a welt the size of Texas on my forehead.
If all else fails, I can simply write a new post and let Carly’s voice be heard in the background.